Four steps to get motivated again after defeat
As humans, we go through the travails of life. Some foreseen, others unforeseen. Whatever the case may be for you, it is our innate ability as humans to overcome setbacks. Defeat can come in different ways. For some people, it could be a failed marriage, challenges in business, an unyielding child, a rejected proposal, the umpteenth ‘No’ when job hunting, etc. These are only a smidgen of how defeat may feel for some people.
In truth, what is the thrill of victory without the chance of encountering victory's nemesis – defeat. Victory is an experience only humans can afford to attest to the high that comes with it, same with defeat. Humans can not be destroyed by defeat, only if they back down completely, but they can use it as a launching board to spur them onto another phase of their lives. Psychologically, some persons are not intrinsically motivated to get back up after experiencing defeat, which is why we have curated these effective ways to aid your transition from a place of defeat, to where you can start to feel more confident in your abilities.
1. Grow Through What You Go Through:
When you experience defeat, it may seem too gloomy to see any ray of hope, but what is the essence of life without a thread of hope. Hope is your belief in things yet seen. Therefore no matter the degree of defeat you have experienced, hold on to that thread of hope. Just like a muscle, the more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. The more feasible it is, enough to spur you through the dark phase you are in. This is the concept of growing through whatever you go through. Instead of letting it push you over the edge, let it be the reason why your life’s story should never end here.
2. Learn From It:
It is inadvisable to let certain events happen to you first before you learn from them. You should be able to learn from the experiences of those before you and around you. These are keys to navigate through life. However, life still happens to the best of us. Unforeseen circumstances swoon in and threaten to steal the breath out of our lungs.
“No simply means begin again at one level higher” – Peter Diamandis
As unstable as losses may leave you, growth can only happen if you are willing to take a step back and reevaluate. Take an in-depth look at the situation and ask yourself questions like: “what could I have done differently?”, “Do I lack the wherewithal to have qualified for that job or contract?”, “Do I need to better my skill or acquire some professional certification to avail me certain opportunities?”, etc., as it aligns to your life’s trail, do well to evaluate and learn from it.
3. Own It:
Accept your shortcomings. Do not be the person who lives in denial. As J. K. Rowling posits, the fastest way to recover from anything, in this case, defeat, is to accept it. Accepting the outcome, although negative is a good way to motivate yourself out after the feeling of defeat. This works in tandem with learning from your defeats, then own it. Wear them like a badge. Do not be daunted by them or cower in shame. Possibly, share them. Talk about it with friends, a support group, and especially family. Try this and start to feel the embers of your heart fan flame.
4. Restrategize and Reaffirm Your Focus:
Go back to your plans, take a thorough look at what caused the feeling of defeat to set in, unlearn and relearn. By this, you can then reaffirm your focus: What were your goals before the defeat you experienced? Do you need to slow down? Are you being too hard on yourself? Are you setting unrealistic goals for yourself?, Do you need to break down your goals into short-term and long-term goals? Do restrategize and keep your eyes on your goals. This is even a way to get over any adversary that is thrown your way, because you have acknowledged that where you are heading, far outweighs the present sufferings.
In all, take it easy with yourself. There is no on and off switch for these things, so take your time and heal as you make conscientious efforts to be better for it. It is important to note that anything is possible and with the right amount of consistent effort, you will surely meet your goals.